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Good luck!" "The best part about retirement is that you can now take all those office skills you've learned and apply them to organizing your sock drawer." "Retirement is like getting a gold watch for running a marathon but realizing you don't have legs anymore. Enjoy your free time!"
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A definition of retirement: You get up in the morning with nothing to do, and go to bed at night having only done half of it. Guy's Favourite Retirement Joke Retirement One-liners Albert's Leaving Presentation A. A. A. D. D. - Classic Retirement Syndrome Retirement Speech Jokes Retired Husband at Tesco Three old men Another Funny Retirement Story
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Like a newborn baby?" The second old guy says, "Yeah - no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants." You know you're old when people ring you at 9pm and ask, "Did I wake you?" This old, retired couple went to see the doctor. The old man said, "We want to know if we're making love properly.
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In seeking a retirement job you may be unfamiliar with the current argot (sic) of the profession. And some of these descriptions are not retirement jokes! JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY - We have no time to train you. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
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It Depends. 7. Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time! 8. One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends. because they.
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Updated August 20, 2022 AleksandarNakic/ E+ via Getty Images Retiring from your career is a huge life milestone whether you're happy about it or not. Some people can't wait to say goodbye to their job and get started enjoying their free time, and others would work forever if they could.
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Retirement Humor So you're retiring? Gettin' old? Laugh retirement in the face and lighten up with a bit of humor. Use the following retirement jokes and quotes for the final farewell speech, the farewell card, or just for a different perspective while you check your life savings:
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1. What do you call a person that's happy on Monday? Retired. Photo by David Em/Humor Living. 2. What's the best part of every job? Retirement. 3. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it'll take all day. 4. Why shouldn't you call a retiree at 8 PM? You might wake them up. 5. Why do many retirees go to church?
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Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. One liner tags: money, retirement, time 80.56 % / 410 votes. Another World's Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious. One liner tags: retirement 80.48 % / 247 votes. The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common "enemy".
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"Have you tried counting sheep?" the doctor asks. "I tried," the boxer explains, "but every time I get to the number nine I stand up." What are terminators called when they retire? Exterminators. Why can't you tell a good joke about retired people? Because none of them work!
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1. "Retirement is the perfect time to start living like a child again - without curfews and homework!" 2. "Why did the retired teacher become a gardener? Because she wanted to help things grow, even after retirement!" 3. "Retirement is like a vacation in Las Vegas. Your goal is; enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money!" 4.
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Wife: "What are you doing dear?" Husband: "Swatting flies. I got three males and two females" Wife: "How on Earth do you know which gender they were?" Husband: "Easy: three were on the beer, and.
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101 Of The Funniest Retirement Jokes (Warning Some Are Rude) - LimaLima Home Quotes Funny Retirement Jokes Funny Retirement Jokes James Brands June 09, 2022 Retirement sounds like such a liberating time but really it's society's way of telling you you're no longer fit for purpose.
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1. Hunting Buddies A couple of retired buddies went hunting. After tramping through the woods for the day, Walt's friend clutches his chest before collapsing on the ground. Calling 911, he frantically explains his friend isn't breathing and appears to be dead. The dispatcher asks "First, can you make sure he's dead?" "Hang on" Walt said,
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1. How do you know you are old enough to retire? Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! 2. Why don't drummers come out of retirement? Too many repercussions. 3. I know lots of jokes about retirement, but none of them work. 4.
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Celebration The idea of retirement is that it's a time of relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. But it is not without some hilarious moments. As funny as it may seem, retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring. Funny retirement jokes help lighten the mood during times of stress.